"It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?"

27 weeks 3 days

How far along? 27th week
Total weight gain/loss: +0lb the last week, +22lb total. I actually got on the scale two times to make sure I was reading that right. This is not a proud moment though- my pants selection is still slowly dwindling as the baby gets higher. I uncomfortably HATE wearing anything that doesn't come above the uterus line- which now is basically to my boobs- what up Urkel. I almost had to wear a pair of Troy's as today was laundry day, but I was too chicken that I would put them on and they wouldn't fit. I could just imagine the "I'm having a fat day" closet scenario played out so many times pre-pregnancy when even your fat jeans wouldn't fit. Now multiply that feeling times 10 as your husband watches you worm your way into a pair of his khakis?!- no thank you. So we just avoided that whole possibly mortifying fashion show with a pair of pajama pants for the day.
Stretch marks? No stretch marks, but here's this week's new weird skin discovery. I think that dark creepy line that goes vertically from your who-who to your boobs is starting. So attractive. It's like your body saying to your husband "As if you didn't have enough to freak out about your wife's new body..."
Sleep: Gone are the days of sore shoulders, hips, and even jaw lines from clenching my teeth in pain. Our new mattress is here!!! I was even able to get rid of the Snoogle that's been making Troy jealous in bed. Just with a pillow between my knees, I am good to go with only one awakening in the night to empty the balloon of a bladder, switch to my other side, and to tell Troy to roll over so there's no breathing in my face....I am so thankful. And we made sure we got the mattress protector sheet in case that lovely bag of water decides to break on our bed and ruin the warranty. That would be our luck.
Best moment this week: Getting the new mattress, but also getting a Wii. Mommy can exercise now! haha
Movement: I'm getting scared since the kicks are getting higher and stronger. My issue of Family Circle (thanks Lulu) that was conveniently resting at the start of the belly as I read was almost shot out of my hands with the strongest kick I've ever felt last night. Come on babe, I mean I was learning great tricks in there. Like how to store sheets in the linens closet- put the extra folded up sheet set inside of the pillowcase it goes with, so the whole set isn't scattered and buried all over. Genius, right?
Gender: I loved this scene. I'm in Babies R Us buying a crib sheet, and the checkout girl says "So do you know what you're having?" I explain "No we decided to not find out. Most days I feel girl, but some days I feel boy. And everyone keeps guessing. But I guess only one person really knows in there anyways.", as I casually look down to the belly. To which she so insightfully replies "Well you should have them tell you!" She was a smart one.
Labor Signs: The labor of meeting my new friend Heartburn. Not really a good friend, just shows up whenever he feels like it unannounced. Sticks around way past my bedtime and makes me feel bad about eating potato chips. My other friend Tums was so offended that he tried to kick his ass, but Heartburn won.

Food Cravings: Coca-cola. I broke down and bought a case, but I only let myself have 1 a day. Ok, that's a lie- I made Troy go to the store that instant to buy it and that night I had 2 :)
What I miss: Not being stared at when I'm by myself in line at the liquor store with a case of Budweiser- of course it's not for me people!!! I guess this is what guys feel like buying tampons.

What I am looking forward to: Next doctor's appointment is this Thursday. No, I am not looking forward to that orange drink I have to guzzle for the gestational diabetes test - and I hear it's more like Orange Glo than Sunkist. But I am looking forward to another listen at the heartbeat. I hope it's pulse is back down from The Guess Who concert this past Friday. That drum solo was kickin' in that little casino room and so was the baby. I was scared we were getting a lot of "What the f**k is going on out there Mom & Dad!?"'s from the concert-goer within. That's what you call a jam session my child!
Weekly Wisdom: Pregnant woman are lucky at a roulette table. Baby needs a new pair of shoes! Well we won enough for 20 pair :)
Milestones: Baby is about 2.5 lb and 15" long. Keep on cookin' homeskillet! Reminds me of Juno- "That ain't no Etch A Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet." I need to go watch that movie now.
Baby Brain Moment of the Week: This was classic. So we get the Wii, make our characters to look like us, and Troy is kicking my ass at Cycling. Me being the poor loser that I am, demands we switch remotes so he can see how mine isn't working right. We procede to battle it out in a cycling match again, and I'm basking in my glory since now I'm in 1st place with the new remote and I'm silently chuckling as I can see his guy on the split screen having trouble getting anything to work right. As I cross the finish line, I jump up and down with pride "Woo hoo!" Troy looks at me funny and says "Jess, I won." Puzzled, I ponder. Baby-brained Jessica forgot she was not her character on the screen with the remote switch, and was looking at the wrong side of the screen the whole 5-minute bike race. I immediately felt bad about making fun of the Babies R Us chick.

Weekly Belly Pic: Note to baby: Feel free to just push all of those organs out of the way as you need more room to pack on the pounds- no need to make my stomach go any farther out.

The Big Reveal

It's like in Extreme Home Makeover- "Move that bus!" Here's the nursery!

I am taking credit in that everything is "Designs by Dolly" and most of it came from craft stores or the clearance racks. That's right moms-to-be out there, you don't have to fall into the Babies R Us you-must-buy-these-30-items-to-complete-your-nursery trap that can cost as much as a used car. I'm not trying to mock any moms who did go that route, but I considered it a challenge to not spend that much. In fact, if I total everything, we didn't spend more than $450 on EVERYTHING you see in this room. EVERYTHING. I can only say that with the gracious gift of the glider from Donna & Jerry (THANK YOU!!!). But the crib was used & came with the mattress set, furniture is used and got a paint job, art was handmade with supplies from AC Moore, and all accessories like sheets or baskets were from the clearance racks or under $10. My Grandma Margaret always said I was a sucker for those bargains, and now I just plain take pride in it. See those little flower stickers in the 2nd picture that are on the smaller canvases? My inspiration hit me like Evan Almighty in the aisles of JoAnn Fabrics when I saw those little suckers. The rest was history with a little creative thinking and Google :)

Here are some before pics of the blank canvas...

Third Trimester...Thank God

26 weeks 4 days

and this is how we feel lately...

How far along? 26th week
Total weight gain/loss: +1lb the last week, +22lb total. No comment.
Stretch marks? No stretch marks! But the belly button thing is getting weird. Not an outtie yet, but its very shallow. It was funny when my nesting thoughts kicked in and I realized that it will be the cleanest belly button I've ever had with nothing able to tuck down in there, and I was very pleased with this haha.
Sleep: I had a break down. After a night of 4 hours of "sleep" between the bed & the sofa (where there was more sleep on the sofa), I woke up and broke the news to Troy that we were breaking the bank account today with a new mattress. To my surprise, he was fully on board. Must have been the massive massage requests I've been making with the sore shoulders and hips. Tonight is the last night I have to sleep on the pile of doom, and I cannot wait until they deliver me my little slice of heaven tomorrow!!!
Best moment this week: Life-changing event described above.
Movement: The only thing I like about this pregnancy lately is the amazing feeling I get to feel when the baby is moving in there. It freaks me out sometimes how hard he or she kicks, but it's still in the fun stages where I just watch my belly bounce up and down with each David Lee Roth Van Halen stage kick. It reminds me to suck it up for the little baby that needs to pack on the pounds in there. Otherwise I'd be demanding, end this misery now.
Gender: Almost everyone who was team girl, is suddenly switching to team boy. Interesting.
Labor Signs: The labor of finding daily purpse. Rememeber all of those times you've said "I wish I could win the lottery so I never have to work again"? Trust me, I AM LOST without going to work every day. I have run out of projects and I just dont know what to do with myself. Reminds me of that White Stripes song. This whole stay-at-home gig would be a lot better with an actual baby outside of the womb to take care of, but in the mean time this is BORING. I have decorated all rooms, I have cleaned the holy hell out of the house, caught up on all morning episodes of Say Yes To The Dress and The Baby Story, walked around the neighborhood 1000 times, cooked dinner way more than I ever did, laundry, shopped till I dropped (literally fall to the couch when I get home), and read 3 pregnancy books. Now what???!!! Thankfully, I have an interview Feb 2 to see if I can get back in with Grainger before the baby pops, but we'll see if the male minds can get past the watermelon they're staring at.

Food Cravings: Tomato sauce craving=bad idea. The heartburn that I felt on Day 4 of Tomato Sauce Festival could have brought down Napoleon. This week I'm loving my safe Kashi cereal with a half gallon of milk.
What I miss: Calm Jessica. I feel like I have no patience anymore. "I want it and I want it NOW" is a common feeling. Troy has coined the phrase "grumptified" for when he can see my transforming into The Incradible Hulk. The term comes about a lot when I realize we've run out of cereal, when the waiter is taking forever, or when there is traffic. Easy hormones, easy.

What I am looking forward to: Reuniting with my former concert-junkie self and going to see The Guess Who Friday night. It was a Christmas present from me to Troy (and me haha). Get ready for your first concert baby! I dont mind if you jam out in there either- just watch the bladder so I dont have to miss any songs.
Weekly Wisdom: If you're a waiter and you have a pregnant woman as a customer- DONT make her wait for a refill on that water or tea. Our bodies are like Sham Wows with drinks and you need to keep them coming. And please get smarter when you deliver the water glass in something that looks like it's made for The Mayor of Munchkinland.
Milestones: 2 trimesters down, 1 to go. Seriously though, this isn't motivating since the first 2 felt like eternity. First trimester = yay, I'm pregnant, this is so fun! Second trimester = alright, this is ok, I can do this, ooo fun nursery decorating and baby stuff buying to pass the time, but I do miss the wine. Third trimester = this sucks.
Baby Brain Moment of the Week: Thinking the phrase "hot as Hades" was "hot as Haiti". Had no clue what Hades was until the laughing-at-me husband filled me in. Good to know.

Weekly Belly Pic: I'm getting scared that this is going to get a lot bigger. Troy please don't leave me.

Sleeping Beauty

25 weeks 4 days

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

How far along? 25th week
Total weight gain/loss: Woohoo, we've broken the trend! +1lb the last week, +21lb total. Who knew I would be so excited to gain a pound.
Stretch marks? While I was admiring a stretch mark-free belly, I started to notice the mapping that my veins have created all over my body. It looks like I've morphed into a Smurf with the biggest blue veins I've ever seen! I'm sure the fact that my vampire skin not seeing the sun in 6 months doesn't help, but I really hope we don't have a Smurfette in there.
Sleep: It's getting worse. I dread going to bed now, just because I know in 2 hours I am going to wake up with a shoulder that came out of a NFL playoff game, or a hip that feels like I am straight out of the "I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercial. Screw the new mattress pad, I'm going all out with a new mattress this week.
Best moment this week: Getting the invitation for my baby shower Lulu & Mom are graciously throwing for us...SO CUTE!!! Who knew the nickname peanut would go so far.
Movement: So the las t somersault the little one took last night as I laid down to go to bed was not cute...it was down right uncomfortable. So much that I jumped. And then Troy tried to talk to the belly to say "Don't do that to Mommy" and he or she kicked his ear! haha I was dying laughing. Sounds like they've got my 5-year-old darling attitude already.
Gender: I had a dream we had a boy, and the very next day the lady who works at Lowes told me we were having a boy. We shall see!
Labor Signs: The labor of staying awake. It almost has Troy worried at this point as to where his wife has gone...oh wait, she's on the couch napping. Just like the switch that appeared in the second trimester to turn off the fatigue, someone played an evil trick and turned it back on. I'm not kidding when I say that this is my schedule as of lately:

1. get 10 hours of sleep a night (well if you want to call it that)
   
2. eat
3. get ready, but without work it's more like the 5-minute hair & makeup plan. Not a routine I would want to meet George Clooney with.
4. I am drained of energy by the time I get ready, I make myself do something for an hour to be productive. You know, like Facebook :) No seriously, there is usually some project of the day to tackle. But then I need to...
   
5. eat
6. read one of the pregnancy or parenting books that make me laugh at the thought of having to put pads in my bras soon
   
7. nap for an hour or 2
8. wake to Troy making sure I'm still alive
9. eat
   
10. leave for an outing to Lowes or the grocery store to make my day somewhat purposeful again
    
11. eat
12. watch TV while fighting off sleep
    
13. repeat

Sounds like the good life, but trust me it's a downer. I tried to throw in some exercise, but it just makes it worse. On a serious note, I am looking forward to the anemia test in 2 weeks as I recently discovered this might be the problem with the 50% more blood my body is trying to produce and lack of red meat that it wants.

Food Cravings: Tomato sauce, which has led to pizza 3 times this week...including last night & tonight. Troy is in heaven since this is his I-can-eat-this-everyday food. But I always top with veggies to make me feel less guilty.
What I miss: Being able to operate a full day without whining and feeling like I pulled an all-nighter studying for a Physics final.

What I am looking forward to: Putting the finishing touches on the nursery. 9 canvases are done and up, furniture is in place, and it's ready for the accessories. Off to figure out the bedding tomorrow!
Weekly Wisdom: As my good mama-friend Trisha filled me in on, a day of nesting must be followed by a day of resting. Good to know to not re-stuff the couch when I've actually got things to do the next day. Oh and on a side note, I was so intensely nesting with the couch makeover- I gave myself rugburns on my knuckles from stuffing so much!!!
Milestones: Apparently after 25 weeks, your baby is considered a-ok to survive outside the womb with medical help of course. Even though it would be a rare steak, we're aiming for well done. Ew, why did I have to bring up my arch nemesis steak.
Baby Brain Moment of the Week: Having to make a list every time I go out for errands, but then forgetting the list on the fridge. I have been meaning to get a lint brush for 4 weeks now.

Weekly Belly Pic: I had a similar outfit on in week 18. This is a really entertaining side-by-side comparison. I will never again say I am fat at my pre-pregnancy weight.

Baby Dolly, coming soon in 3D!

I decided to give myself the best birthday present ever- a 3d ultrasound session the day after I turn 29! :) I just can't bare the thought of no more ultrasounds at the doctor so I caved into the pregnancy hormones. We're booked to see the baby Sat, Feb 13 and I cannot wait! The whole thing includes a 15 minute session in front of a 84" screen, a CD with all of the 3d pictures on it & the live video from the whole session, an edited version on DVD set to music, 4 color prints to have right away, and determination of what baby's first word will be. Ok not the last one, but jees these people can seriously do it all! Of course we're opting to not take them up on the gender peek. I'll be 29 weeks, which apparently is perfect to snap the little one before there's no more room in there to move around to get some good shots. You better believe I'll be chugging the Mountain Dew right before I go in!

Are We There Yet?

24 weeks 3 days
How far along? 24th week
Total weight gain/loss: I just really don't see this trend ending anytime soon even though I am by no means pigging out. +2lb the last week, +20lb total. Apparently, the baby gains 6oz. himself every week from this point forward! This better not be one of those 20lb babies you see on the cover of The National Inquirer that look like a 2 year old at 2 weeks.
Stretch marks? Amazingly, none. Let's hope this trend continues as well.
Sleep: Not really my favorite subject. The extra weight is really getting to my shoulders , which calls for a lot of turning during the night. I'm off to buy a better mattress pad tomorrow to save Troy's sanity.
Best moment this week: Hearing the baby's heartbeat on Friday. It's always such a reassuring sound to know I am already succeeding at being a mom. Those 12 glasses of water a day...and 12 trips to the bathroom a day...are for you kiddo!
Movement: Loving the kicks still.
Gender: Troy & I had a wonderful celebratory dinner for officially selling Fridge Filler on Friday night. While silently enjoying our Blue Crab & Cheddar baked dip (yes, it was heaven), out of no where like an epiphany Troy says "I think we're having a girl." The almighty one has spoken.
Labor Signs: The labor of getting the nursery ready. Fun, but tedious since I had to refinish some furniture as well. Dressers and end tables are done though, complete with custom-designed knobs :) Canvases start tonight to line the walls with. Let's hope my inner Picasso comes out rather than Stevie Wonder's artistic sense. Don't worry mom, the windows are cracked and I'm using low VOC paints.

Food Cravings: Milk. I have to have it with every meal now. This may explain my new bra size haha.
What I miss: Update on new maternity jeans- they're here, they're here! I was tempted to sleep in them the other night, they're so comfortable. Thank you Motherhood Maternity Gods.

What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery while Troy's away this week. I want to surprise him with the room we're bound to be spending a lot of long nights in! He's seen the bits and pieces of it all, but there's nothing like it all coming together in the end.
Weekly Wisdom: The maternity ward where you'll be delivering can be more of a resource during pregnancy than your OB. We're now all set up for a hospital tour to see what d-day will look like, Labor Prep, Breastfeeding, & Pediatric CPR classes, and a breast pump rental to hold off on the commitment of purchasing those little contraptions that cost more than a laptop!
Milestones: 6 months down, just over 3 to go! And I can still see my toes!
Baby Brain Moment of the Week: Can't remember ANY of my usernames or passwords online, and it drives my pregnancy hormones bonkers. I was telling the baby to put its earmuffs on as I was cursing Verizon up and down for breaking the cardinal rule- pissing off a pregnant woman and making her cry. Throw in a cell phone that has no reception in my house, and you've got yourself a scene out of So I Married An Axe Murderer.

Weekly Belly Pic: Yes, I'm that bold and wearing horizontal stripes.

New Doc Visit

New doc visit went good today. Facility was great, receptionist was a bitch (and even Troy called her out), nurse I had was hilarious and awesome, and the doc was thorough but sort of bland. I'm not worried though since I'll prob meet a couple other docs that practice there who might be delivering that day instead of mine. I've always been a team player so it works for me. It's an all-women facility, and the receptionist must be channeling all of the PMS. Just kidding, I guess we can all have those days.

Blood pressure is excellent, weight is right on track with my measurements at home (I like their office better already unlike the previous evil doctor scale that never matched my home scale), belly is measuring perfect for 24 weeks, and baby's heart rate was 150bpm. All-in-all, everyone is perfectly healthy...hallelujah. Doctors usually don't offer another ultrasound unless it's medically necessary after this point, so there won't be another one :( BUT the lovely money-making business minds of the world decided to capitalize on this fact, and started up businesses outside of your doctor's office that offer 3d ultrasounds for a fee, and Jessica is falling right into that trap. I think it's just unjust to make a mother wait 20 weeks to see her baby again!!! My old doctor's office actually offered this service in-house, but there are plenty in Boston that will give you a very cool glimpse inside the womb, versus the black & white 2d's where it's hard to tell a bottom from a face. Can't wait to see and share!!!!!!!!!

The Turkey Has Popped

23 weeks 5 days

How far along? 23rd week
Total weight gain/loss: There's those cookies! +2lb in the week after Christmas...+18lb total. But I sort of don't feel bad since Troy gained more :)
Stretch marks? Went to go shower, and noticed in the mirror a lot of red vertical lines on each side of my belly button out of no where. SH**! SH**! SH**! SH**! SH**! My life is ruined, Troy's going to be appalled, adios bikinis. [cue tears] I then realize after the shower, they miraculously disappeared as I was prepared to bathe in cocoa butter and make them disappear like they do on the commercials... turns out it was just wrinkle marks from my shirt after laying down before the shower. I think this doubles as Baby Brain Moment of the Week as well.
Sleep: I don't know what is going on in there, but sleeping 10 hours a night and sleeping in is the norm lately. My theory is Baby is rewarding me after the Reese's Christmas Trees in my stocking. And I just ate 2 more...I predict a 10am'er tomorrow. Thank you kiddo for returning me to the good ol' college days...except this time no classes or community showers. Woo hoo what a life!
Best moment this week: No hangover on New Years Day for the first time in 13 years.
Movement: Still kickin away. Thankfully they're all pretty low and Pele is no where near my ribs yet. The other day when I was pushing back during our playdate, it kept kicking my fingers back or rolling there and it was the coolest thing ever.
Gender: I am now clueless. My sister left my side and now thinks boy, so now I'm on the fence for Team Pink or Team Blue. In preparation, I have hammered down a boy name since I had the girl a long time ago. Now I just need to fill Troy in haha.
Labor Signs: The labor of heightened senses. I can hear EVERYTHING now. For some reason the car creaks more over bumps, the walls make noise here in the Paul Revere house, the way the shower head drips on the drain while you're in there, and the wind whipping outside is driving me NUTS! I hope these Edward Cullen-like superpowers go away since I have an inkling things are going to sound like a Walmart in here in a couple of months.

Food Cravings: I believe I had my first "get me to the nearest joint that sell this stuff" craving this week. After watching Man vs. Food take on a 5lb Philly Cheese Steak sub recently, my brain decided it wanted to give it a try, but right that second. And for some reason, extra onions. What I really wanted was an infamous western New York Viola's sub...Mom get to Fed Ex stat! Oh and chili has been big since Christmas. Go figure since I gag at the thought of steak since that traumatic experience in the first trimester.
What I miss: Wearing pants without feeling like they're squeezing your bladder like a vise. My new stretchy up-to-your-boobs maternity jeans are in the mail, and the mailman knows my name now from waiting.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting my new doc and practice this Friday. Hopefully she's not lame and will for some reason need to perform another ultrasound to see Peanut for herself. This is when I think about Tom Cruise buying Katie Holmes her own 3d ultrasound machine to use at home, but then I remember she bought into his cult as well. Ok, the doctor's office will do.
Weekly Wisdom: Husbands: do not plan out-of-town work trips 2 weeks before your wife's due date to encounter one of the scariest workouts of her life that may come a little earlier than expected, and she's hoping for early. This didn't go over too well.
Milestones: I believe we've "popped". Baby weighs a whole pound now!
Baby Brain Moment of the Week: Stretch marks incident takes the cake. Takes the cake...where does that statement even come from?!?

Weekly Belly Pic: I think my boobs popped too. Here come the big girl pictures from here on out.